Divorce

Through this classes weekly discussions, I have come to the knowledge that Divorce greatly affects not only the couple, but the family as well. The entire dynamics of the family change - causing great amounts of stress, grief, adjustment, and learning. Divorce is a type of crisis for families which deeply influences how they will react to it. In America, the divorce rate is sitting just above 50% - which is a large chance for separation. Most parents, so miserable in their marriage, feel that divorce will bring their family peace. They feel as if they have tried too hard, for too long. The truth is that marriage is difficult. Those that continue to stay married face similar challenges in their marriages, but marriage is selfless. If a couple is going to work through a marriage, it requires very hard work, as well as dedication, fidelity, loyalty, and faith. When a couple decides to continue forward with divorce, they feel that it will save their family. When in reality, a broken home causes struggles and challanges for children for the REST OF THEIR LIFE. This is no small issue, but truly large and impactful. Divorce affects children's self-esteem, their secure attachments, their development, their ability to have healthy relationships as well as their general happiness in life. Children who's parents are divorced have much higher chances than the regular 50% of one day divorcing themselves. Children need the example in their life of healthy relationships in order to know how to have one themselves. You often hear individuals say, "I am not going to do the same things my parents did." But guess what? Those tactics used by parents are imbedded in us - whether we like it or not. It takes great effort, courage, and determination to find and develop healthy relationships. Some ineffective coping patterns that comes from those trying to recover from a recent divorce are denial, avoidance, and blaming.

I am grateful that my parents have such  a healthy relationship. I have never heard them fight and that was a great example so that I can also be successful in my own marriage. Marriage is holy and of God. We make sacred covenants in the temple which means we must fight for our marriages with all that we have, always. If taken seriously, and relied on Heavenly Father, we can do even the hardest of challanges.